The Hell if I know!

2008-04-20

Hell - o;

Edward here. Been working like ... well, like we work in Hell on this system. Damned difficult to maintain the connection.

I've been encouraged by management to take any and all questions from you humans and answer them. To start things out, here's a question from Bill S. in Idaho, USA:

"Why are zebras striped black and white?"

To answer your question, Bill, you've got to go way back to a time before your silly ape minds began to develop in your distant ancestors. Hell was a pretty new establishment at the time and I guess they didn't do things too well. I wouldn't know, since I wasn't here. According to what we were taught in school, though, Hell had decided that herd migration on Earth was too haphazard after Yurewnth was killed during a yearly Mammoth migration (also first known demon death; access the archives when you're dead to find out more). Hell established Stop 'N Go, the ancient forerunner to our current Traffic Control. Zebras, being very neat animals and desiring order in all things, volunteered to assist Hell with this undertaking.

You have to understand, the Stop 'N Go system was more than half organic (you'll cover that in Early Computational Analysis at Demon U), so everywhere you went there were zebras hooked into the system. Their pelts were set to show as either white (for stop) or black (for go). Officially, a hyena caused the problem with the system ... and any other story you may hear is a complete lie. Stop 'N Go was called a failure and dismantled completely. The zebras' pelts remain stuck on the striped pattern; Hell had a team of specialists try to fix them but nothing worked. I guess it really pissed the zebras off ... but the hyenas thought it was funny.


Feel free to leave your questions in the comments area. I'll get to them as quickly as my eight arms can ....

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Hell isn't what you think

2008-03-15

Tweqt Humans!

This is Edward, Administrator for DNET-DemonSpace.com and representative of Hell.

I'm sure you're all wondering what in the Hell is going on here. Too bad! If you haven't got a clue I suggest you visit DNET-DemonSpace.com in the next few days. I've almost got the okay from Administration to hook the site up to Earth.

I'll be adding songs to our playlist for everyone in Hell to enjoy. Artists will be added by popular demand. And don't ask me what kind of music will do well in Hell! Hell is filled with a variety of beings, just like Earth, and each has their own tastes (I personally can't stand the Ghujpt they serve on Saturdays in the cafeteria, but it's been on the menu for over 700 years now).

We demons have gotten a bad reputation over the years. This is completely unjustified. I'm sure if you stop by to visit some of our members you'll find demons are just like anyone else. You might even know a few of us already...

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